Well thats it! My 20s are officially done. Over with. Kaput. I quietly turned the big 3-0 this weekend. There was no fanfare. No drum rolls or trumpets. No huge surprise birthday party or naked girlfriend bursting out of a giant cake. None ah dat.

Instead I spent a simple day climbing/hiking the incline – a 1 mile stretch of gravel and railroad ties. The incline gains 2,011 feet, topping out at 8,585 feet. It takes approximately 2,696 steps to get to the top. In comparison, the Empire State Building gains 1,224 feet and has 1,860 steps to the observatory on the 102nd floor.

And I enjoyed it!

I have never been one to celebrate big on my birthday. I hate when too much attention is lumped on me for something I really did nothing to earn. If anything its my mother who deserves all the praise for that right? So when my birthday finally came around this Saturday I was determined to spend it the same way I spent the last 10 birthdays – on my sofa watching TV. Well I was until Huggy called.

“Hey. What’re you doing?”

“Laying in bed trying to remember what I was doing on this same day 10 years ago.”

“Yeah? Well skip that… want to do the incline with me?”

I had heard of this incline. Heard how it ripped the hearts out of many a grown man. Tried it once. Got to the top in just under an hour gasping, wheezing and trying in vein to ignore the intense pain in my calves and thigh muscles. I had vowed then that it just wasn’t worth it to ever attempt doing it again. But women have a way of making me say and do strange things. No wonder Adam ate that damn apple.

“Uhmmm.. What time is it? 9:20? Yeah. Ok. Why not? Its just over 2000 steps at a 60 degree angle straight up the side of a mountain at over 6000 feet of elevation. Precisely what I prayed to God for on my birthday. Thank you God!”

“Oh stop being a damn wuss! It’ll be fun!”

So I drove over to Huggy’s place, picked up three of her friends, and went off to conquer the incline. At first me and Huggy paired up while her three friends, a girl (Asia) and two guys (Egypt and England), took the lead. Asia (not her real name) had recorded some pretty fast times doing the incline before and she routinely ran six miles a day and you could tell she was competitive as she started off as if there were a hot plate of food waiting for her at the top. Egypt, a skinny, self-proclaimed semi-professional football player was next. Huggy had told me that she went on one date with him and that she thought he still liked her. Maybe he thought this was his chance to impress her. England, who supposedly had a crush on Asia, was built like a boxer and had powerful arms, shoulders, and a huge chest. His legs were skinny for his size though and somehow I knew that would weigh against him. I brought up the rear, part because I didn’t care to race anyone to the top, and part because I had a great view of Huggy’s cute little ass wiggling as she struggled up the steps. Adam never stood a chance with that whole apple thing did he?

As we near the half-way mark I am finding the going remarkably easy. I guess all my football games have conditioned me better than I thought. Huggy is struggling a little and I tell her to pace herself. As I predicted, England is hunched over to the side spitting and dry heaving. There is just no way those toothpick legs can carry his massive torso. No way. I offer him some water and decide I had better stay with him before he feints. I had no desire to describe to a local news crew how this guy fell backwards down 800 steps to his death. Not on my watch.

We eventually all make it up with me and England being the last ones. England had to stop every 10 steps to either gag, or crouch over holding his head, or both at the same time. Huggy’s friends decide to go back down the way they came. Me and Huggy take the Bar Trail (a two mile see-saw windy jogging trail) back down. On the way down she stops, turns to face me, and gives me one of her zany grins (I so usually don’t do zany… but something about her… ).

“I like you.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“I really like you…”

Now Huggy had taken to routinely telling me she liked me at the most random times. But this revelation seemed different. More serious.

“Well I like you t…”

She kissed me. Like Eve must have kissed Adam to get him to do something as crazy as disobeying his omnipotent creator. It has been awhile since a kiss had me feeling light-headed (or maybe that was the altitude).

“I like you too.”

I did like her. Huggy was so charmingly honest with me all the time it was hard not to like her. She hid nothing and was ashamed of nothing. I find that quality enchantingly attractive being as private a person as I am (yes… I know I publicly blog.. but thats different). For once I am glad I didn’t spend my birthday on the couch. Adam was probably just as glad he ate that apple.

Disclaimer: This is not really a mushy post, though it may read like one. I am a manly man. In fact I spent the rest of the day playing tackle football, shredding huge chunks of beef with just my teeth, and hunting for mountain lions. Thats as manly as it gets people. Nothing to see here… move along!