Sometimes it takes awhile for some things to come to light. Sometimes it takes more than awhile. I mean, this was something I looked for, almost expected, yet I am still surprised.

Let me start off by shedding some light on these vague ramblings:

My last relationship… my last healthy relationship I should say… ended on a bland note. She had needed space she had said… space and time to grow independent of me. And this was some years after I had conformed myself to give more to the relationship and her. For months she had insisted that I sacrifice more of my time to make “our” time. And I conformed. Even became comfortable. So it was not without some reluctance that I agreed to go our separate ways. Let her figure out things on her own. I certainly can’t front… I had thought she would figure things out… fix what was broken and then we could continue what I thought was a great thing. A year later I found out otherwise. The circumstances of me finding out were less than pretty too.

After the whole thing I was determined to not become one of those guys with “baggage”, just walking around and unloading it on undeserving women. But clearly I don’t have as much control over that as I thought. Looking back over the last two years I have to honestly say I haven’t been the “nice guy” I used to be. Not to say I have been maliciously cruel either… but I have seen things going wrong and just let it unfold in a sort of cold and uncaring way that was never like me. But I guess this is a new me and a new chapter in my life. A chapter that has started off all sorts of wrong. But I can fix that… I am the author of my life after all right?

Right. So I started this new blog for this new “chapter”. Hopefully it turns out all right.